想い出は遠くの日々

Another long flight… this time I have enough batteries on this laptop to type out my thoughts. I should spend some time to reflect. The past week has been a blur to me as I spend my last week of holidays with my relatives in Hong Kong.

It’s been a long time away from home. Forgive me if my next few posts are just my thoughts. I am sure you are more interested in my adventures. I need this to reflect… for my own benefit.

Before departing to Japan, I made a promise to myself to grow stronger.
日本来る前に自分にもっと強くを成る。

I believe I furfilled that promise.
約束した。

After seven months away from home, my question is, who have I become?

My trip to Hong Kong gave me a glimpse of the difficulties I will face when I return back to Canada. On the literal side, I have basically turned Japanese as I integrated the Japanese lifestyle into my own. I often find myself bowing in front of my relatives which they probably find it strange. I found myself disconnected from Hong Kong society; I was shocked at how Japanese culture was more pleasent than that of my Chinese heritage. Some of my relatives might noticed during my trip, I had a look of bewilderment as I was rudely surprised by behavior of the Hong Kong people. No offense to my relatives who spent a lot of their holiday time with me; I completely appreciate their efforts in making my Hong Kong trip an enjoyable one. I blame myself for this…

Reverse culture shock.

I have grown to accept the Japanese culture as a new way of life. I dare not say that Japan is a home… if I stayed any longer, I would not be hesitant to say so. But coming back to Canada, this will be another challenge in front of me. What is the norm? How should I react? I can’t just pick myself up from where I left off back in May. I have changed. The people at home have changed. My only request is that my friends and family do not expect me to be the same person who left on that wet May morning seven months ago.

Please bear with me as I debrief my experience in Japan. Some of it might be boring for you, all I want is an ear to listen.

日本で４０分があるよ。成田空港でいる。

今、たくさんの気持を覚えている。何時も忘れない。これは夢までもう一個足音だよ。

じゃあ、また会うね、日本。

Last year, my Christmas present was going to Japan. This year’s Christmas present is my memories of Japan.

Actions say more than words… here is why my tears are flowing right now.

My colleagues at work have taken their Saturday morning to drive me to the airport. My boss, Okamoto-san, my group leader, Mizuno-san, my colleague, Suzuki-san escorted me all the way. Who can doubt their support for my time in Japan? No one.

My friends have told me uncountable amounts… they sent me off at Narita airport, as a surprise. I could not have imagined this happening back in May, when I first came to Japan… that I would make such friendships. You know what’s the most damning thing? I watched them disappear from view as I enter the gate. My tears are flowing…

How have I changed in the last 7 months… tears run down my cheeks as I read the letters from people whom I am proud to say friend. Yet, I am smiling as I recall the memories I have collected. The irony is that even though I am going home, I feel as though I left a piece of myself in Japan. But I leave with something more valuable… this experience; I will continue on this path.

Can you feel the sadness? Can you feel the warmth? Can you feel the kindness?

I will leave this with the song my friend has written in her letter to me.

桜色舞うころ – 中島美嘉

桜色舞うころ, 私はひとり
押さえきれぬ胸に 立ち尽くしてた

若葉色 萌ゆれば 想いあふれて
すべてを見失い あなたへ流れた

めぐる木々たちだけが
ふたりを見ていたの
ひとどころにはとどまれないと
そっとおしえながら

枯葉色 染めてく あなたのとなり
移るいゆく日々が 愛へと変るの

どうか木々たちだけは
この想いを守って
もう一度だけふたりの上で
そっと葉を揺らして

やがて季節はふたりを
どこへ運んでゆくの
ただひとつだけ 確かな今を
そっと抱きしめていた

雪化粧 まどえは 想いはぐれて
足跡も消してく 音無きいたずら

どうか木々たちだけは
この想いを守って
「永遠」の中ふたりとどめて
ここに 生き続けて

めぐる木々たちだけが
ふたりを見ていたの
ひとどころにはとどまれないと
そっとおしえながら

桜色舞うころ, 私はひとり
あなたへの想いを かみしめたまま

Remember to smile Billy.

I can’t describe the feeling but as I end this experience in Japan, I feel a sense of loss…

the dream has ended.

…I know that I cannot stay here forever… all good things must end.

For each challenge posed, I have conquered.
For each achievement succeeded, I have reflected.
For each word learned, I have imprinted.
For each friendship formed, I have cherished.
For each experience reminisced, I have smiled.
I have struggled, I have endured, I have thrived.

While the memory is still bright, I will leave this place with grace.

My boss Okamoto-san has expressed interest in what I do on the weekends: playing Go. A little background here: I’ve been playing Go since grade 11 back in high school and I’ve been playing it on and off for the past 6 years or so. Go is another cultural thing in Japan, so I decided to take it up again… but surprisingly, nobody in my company plays this game. I hear from my colleagues that only ‘old’ people play this game and they’re not ‘old’. Nonetheless, I don’t give up so I found a place in Tokyo to play Go every weekend. Anyways, onto the weekend, I decided to snap some photos to show to my boss what’s this game is all about. FYI, ever since I started playing, out of 33 games played, I only lost 3 times… for those who are interested in my game strength.

So, I start off by giving my friend Mika, 5 black stones. she is playing black stones while I’m playing the white ones. She’s surprised that I’m taking pictures and stuff… I just tell her that I’m doing this for the sake of my boss. If we started on an even game, I would probably destroy her and she’ll get upset. Better to give a handicap to balance the parity.

The game goes on… 15 minutes into the game, I’ve managed to kill off a large group of black stones on the right side of the board. I whip out my camera and take a picture of the situation.

Mika complains that I’m taking pictures of her losing. I put up the lame excuse that my boss wants to see the game.

Anyway, another 20 minutes of game playing and it’s over… here’s the end result and after point counting approx: Mika: 37 Me: 69.5

Mika says she loses once again… and I say, doomo arigatou gozaimashita.

And yes, people keep telling me that I’m strong　ビリーさんは強いですね. I usually respond meekly, “probably not, I have good luck” 僕は強くじゃないよ。多分、好運がある。